Mixed Emotions

Today was my Daddy's birthday! Such a good man and after watching him nearly die of a heart attack I am so happy he is here to celebrate this day!  I have to say I was sad today. In last nights entry I mentioned a dear friend of mine who was enduring a loved ones illness. Today that loved one did not make it. My heart breaks for her, for her loss, for her long road ahead.  It's the holiday season and she will always remember this time of year as a time of loss now. I pray tonight for her to find peace. If anybody can, I know that in time, she will.  I think the loss today reminded me of how much I miss Tadem as well. I am doing so well most of the time but there are moments where my mind wanders off and I wish Tadem were tangible to us.  I know these moments will come and go. I  know that as sad and painful as they are to endure, they do pass. I will turn around and see Mason reaching his arms out to me and how can I not smile!  How can I not laugh when Austin tells me his best friends at school are Lanie and Jake. I am astounded at the capacity his little brain has. All of those months he wasn't talking, he was soaking it all in, he knows so much and little by little it is coming out.  Today was a day of mourning, publicly and privately and yet I know those of us who are suffering will forge ahead, only to be reminded how utterly precious life really is. 

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