Showing posts from May, 2013


there are moments in life when it hits me...i begin to wonder how i can have another child. have another part of my heart walking around outside my body.  i love my boys with such a fierce intensity that at times, it scares me. i never want them to hurt or feel pain, be sad or embarrassed, but that is not reality and yesterday through both mine and masons thick tears i was reminded that there is only so much i can do... i would say mason had his first encounter with true embarrassment yesterday.  his personality doesn't have a whole lot of room for that. he's my outgoing, funny, strong boy. he's like a duck, shit just rolls off his back.  i kind of envy that about him actually. but yesterday there came a moment when the world continued on while mason and i sat in the hallway at school, him clutching me, big alligator tears staining his cheeks and me unable to talk because if i uttered a single word my tears would match his.  my heart hurt for him. i wanted to curl him