Showing posts from April, 2012

Moments and Music

I can be having the most unimportant day driving along and a song will come on and suddenly I am transformed to another time... Moments past, present and future.  Music, lyrics, rhythms and the beats all move me from the ground up.  As you know I am not much of a tv girl, but that I love.  I listen to it all I guess. I love me some 80's, rap, soft rock and most of all country.  My pandora is forever set to a steady stream of country. All of which has the potential to have me in a heap of tears at any given moment.  Country and I are like fire and gasoline, but that doesn't stop me from losing myself in a song that takes me wherever I feel the need to go in that moment.  Songs for me are like streams of an old 8mm movie, each one, each genre, taking me instantly back to wherever I was at that time in my life.  Goo Goo Dolls...oh dear sweet high school when I thought I knew what love was; when the world was my oyster... To this day I can still meet up with my Dads cro


To say that I have been clingy lately would be an understatement. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Pax and I have been home for a good amount of time now, but I am smothering my boys in some serious love.  Every time I leave the house I just want to turn right back around.  Home is our haven.  It's safe and for now it houses 3 healthy little boys and maybe in my mind going out into the world might change that.  Maybe, as I know I have previously written, the dust has begun to settle.  Only this time we aren't talking dust from one surgery or a heart catheterization. We are talking dust from nearly 3 solid years of living in fear and preparing for whatever impending procedure was next. We are talking approximately 10 heart caths, 3 open heart surgeries, 4 feeding tube surgeries, 2 emergency ambulance rides two hours North, numerous hospitalizations from UTI's or viruses caught, thousands (literally) of pokes and prods to my boy, hundreds of echos, ekg's and doctors vi

Thank You's To Paxtons Warriors

Life is seemingly back to normal.  I spent last week running errands, taking the children to the various places they needed to be, cooked dinner and found myself just above the pile of ever mounting laundry that is a constant in this house.  To some this may be boring, to me, it is perfection.  Others are just beginning this journey and some are in the thick of it as I write this. I am not going to lie, I don't want to be there again.  I want to be here at home going to teacher conferences this week and chasing my kids around the house until they finally get their grubby boy selves in the shower. Why is it that boys despise getting clean anyway.... *************** My point is that it doesn't have to be huge to be amazing.  One of the best lessons I have learned living the hospital life.  A lesson I am reminded of daily as I follow my other special needs families still fighting the fight.  My heart ach

I think it's time for a stream of consciousness post....

So we are closing in on about 4 months since I have been able to get my "hurr did" and let me tell you how nappy my roots we're getting.  Point of my story being that I came home with gorgeous, can only be that gorgeous unless a stylist does them locks today and my boys start to full blown panic about "where I was going and would I tuck them in?", it didn't occur to me until later as to why.  My hair was down and pretty and not wrapped up in a messy bun on the top of my head, therefore I had to have been heading out. Which led me to think that maybe I should try to pull myself together a bit more once in awhile. I'm sexy and I know it :0 ******************* Then I remembered where I spent my day yesterday and that I would no sooner want to "pull myself together" if someone offered me money.  I spent the majority of it in a car heading back to.... yep you guessed it~ All Children's Hospital.  Paxton

Easter 2012

The Easter bunny came and went. He "left trails in our house!"   Trails that led to buckets of video games and bubbles for my baby boy. ********************************* We hunted eggs several times and Pax found the golden egg both hunts!  He got a toys r us gift card and "$5000 dollars" according to Mason. It was in actuality, only $5, but I love the enthusiasm and a guy can dream right. ; ) And if anything fills me up, it's seeing their excitement.  The Easter bunny didn't put candy in the eggs, but rather the ever so popular squinkies.  They are perfect for my ocd, hoarding boys.   *************************** In Fontan, HLHS, Mommy never stops worrying news. Paxtons incision is all of a sudden very red and swollen.  I am terrified its getting infected and we are going to wind up right where we j

Silly Stuff...

Last week when we were admitted for 24 hours, I had one child man down with the flu.  Well now, I have one all better and it has moved on to the next.  So far, fingers crossed, knock on wood, Paxton has avoided it.  The funny thing I keep reminding my husband, you know the husband who is more than ready to add "just one more" to the brood, that if we had another one there would be even less time for him.  Poor dude has slept in his 5 year olds bed all week. Every ounce of energy I have,  has been running back and forth between the quarantined child in my room to the healthy ones trashing the joint. I keep saying there just isn't enough of me to go around, but he seems to know that this too shall pass. So, he continues to push for another baby and I continue to remind him of all that we have just been through and to go get his head checked. Speaking of having another baby (which I said I would only do if my Nanny Max comes back so he better go talk to the people that be in