Because sometimes the simplicity of coloring on the windows in our "man pants" at 3 in the afternoon is just what we need these days~ just what we need...
Me??? Writing... I know. It's weird and it's been a LONG time. And I can't lie, it may very well be another year before I do it again. My life is crazy busy. 5 kids is definitely a FULL time job and leaves little room for writing. One day, I hope to get back at it more because lord knows I miss it, but for now.... my kiddos come first. Two days ago was my "birfday" and I turned 39!!! Like what even.... I can't seem to wrap my head around that. I'm still in my 30's y'all and I am definitely clinging hard ;) That said, I am not going to sit here and insta filter this life I live..... It is hard. HARD. And messy. And loud. And I screw up. I yell and then I regret it. But then I get hand made cards like this (without being asked I am told): and I'm reminded that they SEE me even when I think they don't. Mom life is often a thankless life for a long time...today though, I see that I am doing all right. These last 10 years have tak...
Today our son turns one month old! There were days when I was still pregnant with him that we were not sure he would be alive to see this day. God, has blessed us. He is here. He is perfect. He is fighting the biggest fight of his life. Just as sure as the H (home) word was mentioned to us as a possibility in a couple of weeks yesterday, I in turn, got the phone call at 2 a.m. this morning that his heart is struggling. His heart is working so hard to keep going. It is a delicate balance. One day everything looks picture perfect and hours later it all changes. I am working on not looking to far down the road, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one prayer at a time. Today our son turns one month old and the alternative makes me realize that I/we can do this. Even though there will be many tears through out this, many angry days, sad ones and joyful ones. I do believe that God has a plan for us and for our son and as we wait to learn what that plan is, I am finding a patience I ha...
It is after midnight as I begin this post. Today was so highly emotional and raw. I am weary and I am weepy. In fact, I think I have been crying for like three hours straight now. Life right now...it's a lot to take in day after day, I can't lie about that. Today it seems to have all caught up with me. I know that we are close now. I know the anticipation of it is hitting both my husband and I hard. My husband is the rock. He is positive. He smiles. Never gets down. Never complains. Tonight, for the first time since this all began two months ago, I see that he needs me back more than ever. I am torn, always torn. I am a wife and a mommy and I want to be able to be those things to my family, but instead today I sat bedside in a chair because I could be nothing. I couldn't help my husband. I couldn't help my two older boys who are crying out for me and I couldn't help Paxton who was in pain and hungry. I tried to hold him tonight but since he cannot eat until...
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