The Wild Wild Wests

After a couple days of sadness I am doing much better. I believe a surge in hormones contributed to my mood although those feelings were all very real and hard to sit with. So tonight I wanted to share some amazing photos of the boys this past weekend at a water park here in town. I took them there on a whim with my sister and the boys had the best time. It literally filled me up to see them so happy. Austin is doing wonderful. Although he is struggling with a bit of the terrible two's he continues to be my cuddle bug. His speech has taken off. He has started saying multiple word sentences and does extremely well with his speech therapist. Today in therapy, Austin put part of a puzzle together and when he did, he screamed out "I did it!" with his arms in the air as if crossing a finish line at a race. It was priceless. Mason is talking up a storm as well. His favorite word is tractor and he pretty much calls everything that. He also has an amazing fascination with roc...

Dear Friends, If only you all knew how long I have been waiting to see this day. A long time ago pretty shortly after we lost baby Tadem I found a site that does dedications in the sand to babies in heaven. I sent in a request in December and have been looking ever since. Somehow all of this time, I missed it. I was looking so hard and he was right there all along. Please click on the title of this post and scroll down just a bit, to see the breathtaking dedication to my boy. It saddens me when I go to this website for I am slapped in the face with the reality of the hundreds among hundreds of babies that have gone before us to meet Jesus. Yet, without this site, we Mothers and families would still be grappling to find a way to remember and honor our beloved children. If I could lay down in the sand next to his name and cry I would. ------------------ The sunsets and the stars will continually remind me of Tadem and where he has gone to be. What a peace I have found in finding t...

Please know I have many beautiful new pictures of the boys to share with you but tonight I am taking time for another baby boy. I will post more tomorrow on Austin and Mason ------------------------------- I begin tonight alone in my room. I feel at this point that where I am at is for me and me alone. I am sad tonight. In short, we have started to landscape our new yard and we will be planting a tree in Tadems honor. I ordered a tree marker and stone to put near it and one of them came today. I knew what it was the moment I got it so I waited to open it tonight alone. The inscription reads: Precious Child If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. The actual tree marker with his name on it is on its way and I know that one will be even harder to see. I cried. I relived every moment of that pregnancy and I cried. I grapple to remember my baby. Time passes and virtually no one even remembers. The only person oth...

Seriously, is there anything better....

Although it is early and we are walking very delicately through this pregnancy, we have chosen to be excited and allow whatever God has in store for us to happen. We had a mini scare this weekend. I had a bit of spotting and severe cramping which led me to the doctors office today. After much anxiety I was beyond relieved to see our little baby's heart beating away at 184 per minute. I was slightly anxious about that large of a number as the boys (all three of them =) were all in the 140's. Our wonderful ultrasound tech wasn't the least bit worried and I made her promise that I shouldn't be either. An old wives tale says that the higher the heart rate means a girl and the lower the heart rate means boy??? Not only was the baby's ticker ticking away but "she" was moving! At 9 weeks "she" was squiggling like a little worm. It gave me such hope to see an already active baby, whereas Tadem was not. It was downright amazing to me to see the differe...

This weekend was a MaMa and boys weekend. On Saturday we went to Auntie Ashley's soccer game and the boys had a blast! They were screaming "ball" at every turn and running full speed ahead into the middle of the games with no inkling that they were interrupting. I think we may sign Austin up in the fall. In any case, they wore themselves out! Remember that my boys are not car sleepers. It takes a lot for them to fall asleep in the car and then when they do, they most certainly will not nap once we get home. It doesn't matter if it was 20 minutes or 2 seconds, the power nap is enough to keep them running for hours, much to my dismay. (we won't go into my opening the windows to blast air in their faces or singing very loudly to keep them up stints, remember I am pregnant and will go to great lengths for a nap with the boys) However, yesterday all of the running around and excitement put Austin over the edge and no matter how loudly I sang or how much air blas...

There are moments in life that are downright amazing and indescribable. Like childbirth for instance, I have never done anything in my life that I am so proud of. It IS to this day my biggest accomplishment. There is just nothing like it. Then there are moments that are smaller, without all of the hype and excitement surrounding them. When those little moments happen, you stop and think, wow, that was such a beautiful, simple, forever remembered moment. Yesterday I was buckling Austin into his car seat because he was going on an adventure with his Dad. I told him to have fun, to be good and stay out of trouble and I kissed him on the fore head and before I could get my final words to him out, he beat me to the punch. He looked at me and said "LOVE YOU" Truly, the world, well... MY world, stood still for a moment. It was the first time that my boy had said those words to me without me saying them first. It was clear to me then, that my 2 1/2 year old son had begun to un...