There's No Turning Back Now

We are holed up in a hotel here in St. Pete. Daddy and Pax are sound asleep and I am not, shocking I know. At this point I am just ready to do this. To "get er' done" as they say. I want it to be tomorrow night at this time. Then again I wanted it to be tonight a mere six days ago and here we are in the blink of an eye. In spite of pre op we had an amazing day together. The older two boys were absolute gems upon leaving this morning and there could not have been a better gift for Mommy.

Paxton endured all of his tests today like the trooper he has alwayS been. We are primed and ready for surgery first thing tomorrow. He is first on the list at 7 am. We are told it is expected that it will take around 5 hours to complete. 5 long, hellacious hours of waiting and praying. How can time go so quickly one moment and so utterly slow the next... this I will never understand.

What I learned again today, more than ever, is just how much Paxton touches people. There are people near and far reaching out to us. From literally all over the United States, Europe and Britain of course adding Pax to prayer chains, wearing his Praying for Paxton bracelets, sending emails, leaving comments, whatever the case may be, but nonetheless honoring a 2 1/2 year old boy who has zero idea how much he has inspired people in his young little life. I took tons of pictures today, they will not post for some reason tonight. I am to exhausted to fight it so bear with me through this hurdle.

What I love though is in the midst of all his testing and needlepokes in preparation for tomorrow, he keeps his spirit. Oh' how proud he makes me. How my heart swelled today reading post after post. Comment after comment be it facebook, my phone, this blog or my email. There is no "hatin" technology today folks for it brings people, friends and family together in a time of desperate need to be close. It allows you all to hold me up when there are moments I am not sure I can stand and those comments, they are the hand on my back. You may not realize that when you leave them, but I will be damned if they are not. You all remind me how strong my Pax is and if he can be that strong then, so too can I. Thank you to each and every single one of you that took time out of your lives to pray for ours. You will never know how much it means to us. Truly. You will never know.

Tomorrow is a big, BIG day. I will keep you all updated as news arises in quick spurts and when things settle I will post more. It's going to be tough for a bit. I am told he may have to be tied down for awhile and that will be hard on the mommy heart and I will have a lot of consoling to do so I will be back and forth as I can be, but of course my man comes first. Again from the depths of my soul, thank you all so very much for wrapping us in this love and prayer. It is overwhelming. I cannot wait for the one fine day when I can sit Paxton down and show him how truly awesome he is to so many people. Thank you all for loving him as I do. He is going to do great things here I promise you that peeps. I am off to snuggle him, wire, drain, cord free for the few hours I have left.

love and hugs~


cici said…
Oh how I remember those anxious waiting hours. My son was under for 6 when they told me it would be 2-3, back them they had no pagers or texts to update. I made it through watching an Aquarium and pacing the halls.
When the Dr. finally came out I hugged him so tightly and told him I loved him that I think I scared him ;)
Can't wait for tomorrow night when 100 lbs of weight is lifted off your shoulders. Meanwhile, a guardian angel sits there and will
keep you strong.
Every time you get scared,remember
all the Prayers for your baby boy and how much better he will feel in a few weeks.
Please update often......

Love and Prayers
Janine said…
Keeping all of you in my prayers.

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