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Showing posts from September, 2014

October.

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This month. It never gets easier for me. You’d think it would man, but it doesn’t.  Five years ago this time I was doing the best I could to prepare myself for a journey I knew nothing about.  I was praying fervently for my sons life as he continued to grow this last week in my belly. I  was fu*@ing terrified.  I can say that word because well...because there is really no other way to describe it.   My unborn baby, with HLHS.  It was all about to unfold in a matter of days.... as my 30th birthday came and went 6 days before his scheduled arrival, I wished harder than I had ever wished when I blew out that candle.   I feel like 5 years in.  3 open heart surgeries, who knows how many hospital stays, ambulance rides, caths, needle pokes, echo’s and ekg’s in that I would be desensitized to this month, but I am not.   October. October 8, 2009.  My life would forever change. The person that I thought I was, was no longer. I grew up more in those first two months t