Blown Away

It's late. I am tired. I cannot shut my mind down. I am going back through this evening. An evening put on by dear friends for our son. It's still hard to believe this is my life I am writing about. It's all so bittersweet because I would give the amazing experience that tonight was for us back in an instant if it meant my sons heart was healthy and yet tonight showed me more kindness and compassion than I have seen in a long, long time. People...lots of people, beautiful families and smiling children all came together tonight for a cause that has become my life and for so many that joined us, the cause was for a family they did not even know. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness and the need to thank each and every person. While I know that cannot happen, especially given that I am giving birth in less than two weeks, I am hoping that some may read this and know that while I cannot thank each and everyone personally, our family has been reminded tonight of the good that remains in this crazy world. That as scared and alone as we may feel on this journey, we are not in fact alone. We are surrounded by wonderful people willing to give of their time, their energy, their cooking skills to feed my husband while I am away, their hard earned money, their offers to help, their prayers and their love. Our son, our beautiful boy Paxton has already made an impact on this world and he is not even here yet. I think that is pretty amazing. I am proud of him. None of this has anything to do with my husband or I, this is about a little baby boy who's fighting the good fight to be here with us. Who will fight an even harder fight when he is no longer safe in my belly. I am proud of him! Proud for the miracle that he already is, proud that he can bring people together like he did tonight, proud that he is already teaching his Mommy life lessons before the battle has even begun. I learn more from my children in this life than I ever imagined. I thought I would be teaching them and yet they are MY greatest teachers.

A wonderful, wonderful woman that I only met tonight put it best:

God does not give us what we can handle, he helps us handle what we get...


This is what we have "gotten" and one day at a time we will make it through this. Kimmie (who set up this entire event) I don't even really know what to say. I have already said thank you a million times over and yet it is so not enough. Just know that your hard work and kindness has made an impact on our family forever.
Thank you from the depths of my being to every single solitary person that came to support us tonight. That helped in any way with this event, whether it be simply spreading the word, baking yummy treats, bringing drinks, getting things donated, bringing tables, face painting for the kids, donation of the pool, donation of an awesome dj's time, playing with my boys or simply offering support . For those that could not make it, but sent their best wishes, we thank you. To those that have said a single prayer for our son or put him on prayer lists at church, we thank you! We are blessed to know and have been introduced to so many amazing people. Out of ones darkest hour, they learn the true power of the human spirit.

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Pictures coming tomorrow, I really must try to sleep...