Thursday, March 5, 2009


There is our little lima bean! That's what we call them at this stage! We had our first ultrasound today and I knew I was nervous but when I was nearly ready to throw up in the parking lot, I suddenly, realized just HOW nervous. You have to remember the last time I was in the tiny ultrasound room was one of the worst days of my life. I was scared. Scared to lay back down where I was once laying having gotten devastating news! I, did, however do what I had to do and laid down. Almost instantly, the baby was there. Dave noticed the heartbeat right away. He did have a much better view, given that he wasn't laying on his back with his legs in stirrups! We heard the heartbeat; 154 beats per minute. Such a beautiful, sweet sound in and of itself but after losing one and searching for a heartbeat, hearing this ones was like music to my ears. I cried instantly. Good tears this time. Relief and happiness rolling down my cheeks. I am still slightly hesitant to get to emotionally attached because last pregnancy at this time, all was well. I want to be able to give this baby my everything and I think slowly I will but I am taking it one day at a time. Counting the weeks until we hit 16 weeks and laying on that table to see a moving, kicking baby! I may be watching the calendar and counting the days but in truth I have left it up to God. I do what is within my power and leave the ending of this story up to him. Don't get me wrong I hope and pray with all of might but I know what's meant to be will happen and the ending is already written. I must be patient and faithful enough to watch it play out! SO, hurdle number 2 jumped! We love you little lima bean and we are pulling for you every day!
Tadem baby, we saw your sister or brother today in my belly. It was bittersweet for it was meant to be your home for another month but I have since learned God had other plans for you. I just wanted you to know that MaMa still loves you with all of her heart. Though time eases my pain, I will never forget you. Until we meet again, I hope you will be our guardian angel watching out for your brothers! Love you, mean it!
The boys are growing every day! Today Mason really showed me how grown up he is becoming and how smart he truly is! I was unloading the dishwasher (when am I not...) and he went over to the silverware basket, took out a spoon, proceeded over to the silverware drawer, OPENED IT AND DROPPED IT IN! This was no fluke for when I flipped a gasket in complete praise he continued to do it with every last stitch of cutlery in that basket! Mason unloaded the dishwasher! With no urging from me! I mean really, he's 15 months old. That's smart! He must have MY brains =)
He is also becoming quite attached to me. Did I mention how much I LOVE it! Everywhere I go, he follows and when I sit down he walks over to me, turns around and scootches his heiny into my lap! I then proceed to smother him with kisses and hugs!
Austin, hmm... he is 2 1/2 now and blows my mind every day! New words, new faces and even more understanding. Speech therapy has helped him tremendously. He LOVES his teacher and responds amazingly to her! I actually love her too! Well not love love her but you know what I mean. I could see us hanging out together. We DID discuss shoes for 5 minutes before she left yesterday! Anyway, where was I, oh yes Austin. Tonight he melted me because I went to the store to get some fruit and Dave tucked them in bed. Of course, when I got home I had to go and say good night. I always read them books, so I turned on the light and there laying in his mini bed was Austin covered in his blankie, pappi in his mouth, head on the pillow with his Dad's baseball hat on! I mean it was the gal darn cutest thing I have ever seen! He wants to be big so badly! Yet he will fight his brother tooth and nail to get into my lap first! It's very endearing.
Life is beautiful and I am so grateful for every moment of it!
Because I rarely post without a pic, here's a one of the beautiful boy's themselves in their ball pen!

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1 comment:

Hilary said...

Praise God!! I am soo happy you got to see your little bean happy and healthy! And yes, isn't the heartbeat the sweetest sound ever??
I will continue to pray for God's peace and trust as you go through this pregnancy.

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