Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I Have Done It!

It is quite amazing how the time passes by and I realize I have not blogged in quite awhile. Every day I think about it, know that I need to do it but will not take that time from my children. Then when the day turns to evening and the children are tucked away in bed, I have every intention of sitting down with my computer but I fall asleep. There were days nearly three months ago where sleep would not come. I would beg to get just a couple hours of sleep and now I can do nothing but sleep. I no longer stare at the ceiling crying for my Tadem who was taken from me much to soon. I no longer become anxious as I attempt to rest my weary head. I sleep and let me tell you, it is amazing! It is said that time heals a broken heart and I can say that it has. There are days where I wish I was waddling around with a big belly full of Tadem, with only 2 months until we were supposed to meet. It's just that I know Tadem was not meant to be here with us on Earth and I have accepted that. This weekend I hung Tadem's memorial plaque in our hallway at our new house, right in between our two living children's.

It was a special moment and when I hung it I looked at the smile (honest to God, he is smiling in it) in the ultrasound of our baby and knew that he was o.k. I did not cry or feel the tugs in my gut that I once had. I knew at that moment that I had met my goal. Healing Is Remembering Without The Pain...

I did it! There were days in the beginning I didn't want to step foot outside my door, wondering if I could face all of the ignorance in this world ever again but I have. Life does go on and as it does I continue to give thanks for the blessings that I have in my life and for the pleasure of carrying Tadem for the time that I did. God bless you sweet baby boy, you will never be forgotten.
We have had many, many moments of joy around our home lately. My boys are growing by the day and getting into trouble by the moment. Yesterday, lets see, Mason single handidly crawled into our pantry with our cat Harley and shared a snack of Iams cat food together. He ate a red crayon and chewed the tip of a (crayola non-toxic) marker off. Where was I you ask? Well I was attempting to get the children a snack when he ate the cat food but apparently I was far to slow so a kid had to do what a kid had to do. As for the crayon and marker, well I was, right in front of him at the table making valentines for all of Austin's classmates.

It's when he does things like this that I am grateful that I am an organic, all natural bit of a freak. For when he finds the diaper ointment cream and decides to snack on IT, I don't panic because pretty much everything you come across in this house will not harm my children should they eat. (I.E. Burt's Bees soaps, creams, etc.)
In any case, I wanted to share a couple of pics with you because really I just couldn't resist!
Here we are enjoying color, craft, valentine art time

Here we are eating the crayon...

And here is the aftermath of MaMa taking the crayon from him and digging what he has eaten out of his mouth...

And last but not least, here is his brother laughing at him for getting in trouble. Ahh, it's just beginning!

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

awww brotherly love. i cant wait for my valentine card.<3333

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