Were Here

This weekends mission was a hard one. I had to pack what I thought was necessary for Paxton and myself for however long we may be here.  I don't really have access to a washer so I packed a lot.  I had to prepare the house for my departure.  I had to prep everything for my older two boys. Get groceries, pay bills and the list goes on.  When you are preparing to leave your family and watch your child endure his second open heart surgery, the last thing you can even concentrate on is bills and food.  In any case, I did what I had to do. Slowly no doubt, but it got done. I spent the greater part of the weekend waxing and waning through the sobs.  I would look at the two most amazing, kind big brothers of Paxtons and the tears would simply fall.  I just love them so much and leaving them without them really understanding why I will be gone for so long kills me.  Again, I did what I had to do and climbed in the car, cried the ugly cry and then I put on my big girl pants and focused. I have fantastic people caring for my boys and I know that they will rebound from this just as they did last time and God willing we won't be here for nearly as long.

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So this morning my best friend stopped by to trade cars with me because she is taking mine so she can cart all my kids around while Dave and I are gone. When she showed up she had her arms full of goodies for me from my Thursday playgroup girls.  I just can't even begin to express how them thinking of me/us and planning a care package meant to me. I have waited a long time to find an awesome group of Mom's to hang out with. Those girls showed me two weeks ago just how awesome they are and again today.  I have Eileen to thank for forcing me, literally, out of my super shy shell and making me take the plunge and go to playgroup for the first time.  I am so glad that I did and so are my boys! Thanks girls! We will be back with a vengeance in now time!

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So as most of you know we have a very long week ahead of us.  I am feeling ok as I write this, but that will probably only last til I wake at 4 am unable to fall back asleep.  The quiet still of night makes my mind wander. It scares me and does not allow me to be rational.  We are at the point now that it's sort of full speed ahead from here. My heart races as I type that last sentence.  Tomorrow we will go for all of his pre op tests. We will get a time.  A time in which we will have to hand this over to a power much larger than ourselves.  A time to breathe deeply and pray. A time I have been dreading for months. At this point I am ready to get it over with, get him healed and home.  So full speed ahead it is.  People have asked how they can help and all we ask at this point is for prayer. Lots and lots of prayers to wrap my son in as he continues with his fight for life.  All the prayers worked to bring him from my belly to this Earth, through open heart surgery at 4 days old, and two months in the hospital healing.  They worked! God hears us so keep them coming my prayer warriors and know that we are forever grateful to you all!  

(Taken with my phone while on my lap so it got a little tricky, but the smile is truly priceless)

I will update soon!