Wednesday, February 3, 2010

When You Least Expect It


So yesterday, I made a new friend, when I least expected it.  I was merely sitting on the couch feeding my man and thumbing (literally) through emails on my i phone when I noticed one from a sender I had never seen before.  So I opened it and what lay in front of me brought me to tears.  It was from a DAD blog reader that had the courage to reach out to me in his time of need.  You see, he and his wife are pregnant and have a heart baby as well. Their struggle has been long and arduous thus far only to learn that they have an even longer road ahead. His email spoke volumes for the place he and his wife are at right now, I have been.  The places they are headed, I have been. The feelings they are having, I have felt. When we see the two pink lines show up telling us we are pregnant, we never imagine that it could happen the way that it has happened to me, to my new friend and to the millions of others in the midst of a health struggle now.  Sadly, I can admit, I never knew much about heart babies until it was happening to me.  Now, I know more than I ever imagined. My Aunt says I have become a nurse as she watches me give my son his 5 meds through his feeding tube.  It's a ride nobody asks for. It's a ride I wouldn't wish on anyone and yet it's a ride that has made me the person I am today. My friend Eileen and I were talking just the other day about how much I have changed as a mother since Paxton's arrival.  I had it all together before. I prided myself on an all organic diet, on having everything in it's place. I never forgot a diaper, wipe, paci. Beds were always clean and fresh, clothes folded just so. Yet just the other night I  was over at her house and realized that I had no diaper for Paxton and she looked directly at me (which is why I love her so, because she tells me like it is) and said "you would never have done that before Paxton". It's so true.  I had it all together.  Today, I have nothing together and I am ok with that.  What matters is that my kids have time with their Mommy.  The laundry can pile up to the ceiling (and trust me it does), but I can say that it's so worth it. I have Paxton to thank for that. He reminds me that what's important in life is not a perfect house. It's love, kindness and strength.  He really showed me how to let my hair down. Every day I wake knowing just how precious and fragile life really is. 
 Yesterday when I heard from my new blog friend for the first time I had such a moment of clarity that Paxton's struggle is not in vein.  My honesty on this blog is not in vein.  If Paxton's story can help one person, then he has made a difference. Clearly he has taught our family and friends many lessons, but to be able to reach and inspire people across the United States that we don't even know, is heart warming.  I am asking all of my readers to please take just one moment from your day and pray for my new friends baby.  He is not born yet. He will be arriving right around the time that Paxton under goes his second open heart surgery and his story is similar to Paxton's. As I have said so many times before, the power of prayer DOES work.  Paxton is living,  yes living, proof of that!  So can we please add baby "T" to the prayers we send out for Paxton.  All of these little heart babies are so special and each little one is connected in their struggle to be here with us. So just as we pray for Paxton, lets pray for his heart brother to make it into his Mama and Daddy's arms. 
I thank each and every one of my readers who leaves a comment, who reaches out, who shares their story or simply stops by to check on our little man. I just love hearing from you all and hope you will continue to do so.
It is through this blog that I have come to know some of man's greatest struggles, deepest fears and joyous of joys.  

No sooner did I finish this post that I received this email: (thank you Matthew for allowing me to share)


You want believe this. This morning we had to be at the cardiologist at 7:45 for ultrasounds. Long story short, Tapp Allen’s body has absorbed the tissue in his heart that was causing the problem. God has called a different play. He will still have to have open heart surgery, but they will wait until he is 5 or 6 months old. As of right now Polly(my wife) will have a normal delivery and he will come home with us-without any monitors or anything. Obviously, we are still heartbroken-but so excited. Sure you can write about my email. You can use our names and anything else you want. Maybe somebody else is going through this and will stumble across your blog like I did and become encouraged.


When I got home last night I told my wife that I had sent you an email and that you responded right away. I read aloud all of our correspondence to her. We both cried like babies, felt awesome about each other and where for the first time-comfortable and ok about “running this play.” Little did we know that just 12 hours later we would be told incredible news. My friends just don’t understand, they are still so upset for us. There like “well he still has to have open heart surgery right?” I’m like “yea- but don’t you understand he will get to come home with us.” Obviously, they don’t understand that there is a little boy named Paxton who didn’t get to come home right away with his parents.


You think it’s crazy that I prayed for Paxton last night and you prayed for Tapp Allen, we don’t even know each other and my situation has improved 10,000 times? GOD is good. Did anything amazing happen in your life over the last 24 hours?

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~Jamie Kubeczka~ said...

That is an awesome story Jenn... just goes to show you God is good!

Melissa G. said...

I needed a tissue even before I got to the good news at the bottom!
Thanks for sharing!

MommaPebz said...

God IS so good! Everything happens for a reason, & if anyone doesn't believe that, they need to read this post!

*hugs* to all of you!

Gretchen said...

I love your blog! I love your honesty and vulnerbility.

I don't think I have commented much recently, but I read every post you write.. so I thought I would say hi again.

What a touching story, and such an awesome teatimony to God's greatness!

Anonymous said...

To God be the glory!!!

MommaPebz said...

I had to come back this morning to thank you again for posting this story. To make a long story short I was in bed last night stressing/crying over something going on in our life, & I was reminded of your entry here. I told God I was putting our situation in his hands, & asked for peace to remember that everything happens for a reason.

At 7:30 this morning I received an email with probably the best news we have heard in the entire 2 1/2 years we have been going through this. I do believe your message here was put into play for a reason, not only for all of you, but for others as well! God bless you all!

Lesli said...

Hi, Little Paxton has touched my heart and I just wanted to tell you that I will be praying for him and for baby "T". Heart babies are special to me! The email you post was awesome..God is Good!!

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