The Wild Wild Wests

As I mentioned in my last post, SWIM FOR PAXTON was a huge success. It literally went off without a hitch and I truly believe this happened because we had many amazing people that allowed it to do so. Even the rain held out until the very end. I wanted to post some pictures of the fun that was had by all. Enjoy and from our family to yours, we thank you once again... ******* Entrance where silent auctions, 50/50 raffle and donation box were placed. Face painting table for the kids. The West boys enjoying the bounce house. Pictured here are just a few of our wonderful supporters. Many, many more stopped by to show their love for Paxton. A little emotional as Kimmie introduced us and announced the reason behind the fundraiser. And I had just had to put this one on here too, because by the look that is so full of love on my face, it is quite apparent that I am looking at one of my children... Paxtons big brothers started off the swim and others joined in, even an adult race was held! Th...

It's late. I am tired. I cannot shut my mind down. I am going back through this evening. An evening put on by dear friends for our son. It's still hard to believe this is my life I am writing about. It's all so bittersweet because I would give the amazing experience that tonight was for us back in an instant if it meant my sons heart was healthy and yet tonight showed me more kindness and compassion than I have seen in a long, long time. People...lots of people, beautiful families and smiling children all came together tonight for a cause that has become my life and for so many that joined us, the cause was for a family they did not even know. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness and the need to thank each and every person. While I know that cannot happen, especially given that I am giving birth in less than two weeks, I am hoping that some may read this and know that while I cannot thank each and everyone personally, our family has been reminded tonight of the good that r...

Today we had a check up on Paxton. We are two weeks out from his delivery and his heart remains unchanged at this point, which in this instance is a good thing. He continues to practice his breathing, weighs 6 pounds 2 ounces and is 18 inches long!!!! Way to go Paxton! The fact that he continues to grow and thrive is such a blessing. I can NOT believe we are so close to meeting him, I am a mix of emotions, but when I saw that face on the screen today in 3 D, I was reminded that above all else I am so excited to meet our son. This will be an uphill battle for sure, but I am ready to face this head on. I want to get this show on the road so we can get our boy home. Please continue to pray for Paxton! * Since its been awhile, I decided to post and show just how much Paxton has grown! He is definetly running out of room and makes it known with the jabs, kicks and punches that he gives me. My strong boy! Yes, I am in my husbands shirt. I have like 3 shirts that fit me at this point and...

In all honesty, I think I am on the verge of another meltdown. As we head into just over two weeks until I deliver our boy, I am a wreck of emotions. Some days I am so excited, others I am cranky, sad, nervous. Tonight...well tonight I am terrified. I can think of no other word than terrified. I am trying to keep it all together. Trying to be positive. Trying to be brave, but I am terrified. There are so many what if's. So many unknowns. I don't want to be away from my family. I don't want to say good bye to my boys for one day, let alone thirty or more. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to act normal when my whole world has been turned upside down. I don't know how to just sit here and do nothing as we wait. I don't know how to pass the time quicker so we can get this show on the road, and yet I dread time passing because it means leaving my babies. How do I leave them? How do I do this? I have so many amazing people surrounding me a...

I say it over and over again, I just cannot believe how quickly the time flies. It literally feels like just yesterday when we were celebrating the boys 1st and 2nd birthdays, where the mere singing of Happy Birthday had the boys like this: Give them a year to grow on and they wind up like this: Happy 2nd and 3rd birthday Mason and Austin! A year to mature, become braver and smarter. Mason has gone from a crawling, non talking chunky monkey to a running full speed ahead, jumping off of couches, screeching at the top of his lungs, demanding, talking little man. Austin is the smartest, most observant, bossy, snuggle bug, chatter box around. They have grown into their own personalities and yet you never see one without the other. Opposite as night and day and yet the best of friends. As I watch them grow up, I am amazed at their intelligence, their ability to adapt, their fascination with the world around them and the love they have to give. I am the most blessed Mommy in the world b...

We spent another long day in St. Pete yesterday checking up on our boy. The first of many appointments started at 8:30 in the morning so Dave and I drove up on Sunday night in an attempt to get a good nights sleep. I, myself, was exhausted, but was unable to shut it all down. There's something about being there that gets my mind going. I lay there in the wee hours of the morning begging my body to let it all go, envious of my husband who was out cold beside me. I am envious of a man's ability to shut down his mind at any given moment. No matter what may be happening in our lives, my husband can lay down and let all the weariness go. It's a man thing I know, and as the minutes passed by like paint drying, I wished more than ever that I was one. When morning finally made it's way to us we headed to meet the perinatologist who will be delivering Paxton. We really like him and set an induction date for October the 8th. I was suddenly extremely nervous and excited all...

Yesterday, we had another appointment with our specialist here in town. Paxton is hanging in there despite his very poor heart. The fluid that accumulated last week has remained unchanged, thank God, and he may continue to grow in my belly for as long as he can handle it. He was practicing breathing, which I am told is a good sign that he is not in any distress. He weighs 5 pounds 5 ounces and is approximatly 17 inches long at 34 weeks!!!! He is a big boy and I am so grateful for that, I cannot stress how the weight and time in my belly will only help our son once he is born. I go back to St. Pete on Monday for a recheck with our fetal cardiac specialist. We will decide on an induction date then! Even with all that is surrounding our little mans birth, I can truly say that I am getting excited to meet him. I pray that all he has to go through in his ever so young life goes as smoothly as it possibly can for him. My heart aches for him that he will not be home with us and will inste...

I had an appointment yesterday with our specialist here in town. Paxton continues to do well in spite of his struggling heart. There is a small amount of fluid that has formed and we are keeping a close eye on it, as this is indicative of heart failure, and he will need to be delivered. I will be rechecked on Tuesday to be sure that the fluid is not increasing. Please pray that it remains the same as we really, really need to keep him in as long as possible and right now is just to early. We really want to let him grow about another 4 weeks. I have mentioned in several previous posts that I may fall down in a heap of tears, but I WILL GET UP! Well, tonight was one of those times. I lost it. I yelled. I cried, no...sobbed! I sat in the shower and let it all hang out. Ugly, messy, heartbroken sobs. I knew it would come, I just didn't know when. It's been a heck of a week. To be honest, I can't believe it's only been 4 days since our first trip to St. Pete. It fee...

It's been mayhem around the West household lately with all of the news about Paxton and I decided it is high time we get caught up with my other two boys! My Boys On Their First Day Of School (Mason's very first day, he's been waiting to be a big boy like his brother) Seriously, how freaking cute are they... Austin wanted to put his "eyes" on for dinner...I pick my battles ya know and besides what a cute pic! (mmm hmm... those are McDonalds chicken nuggets and french fries. I know, I know...totally NOT organic but hey it's been a heck of a week) Again, I wonder what they would do without each other. Best friends forever except when they are hitting, pushing or hair pulling over a car. The fighting has begun folks and yet there are so many of these moments... Would it be weird of me to climb right in the middle of them and snuggle, smell and kiss them to pieces???

I have always said how intelligent Austin is and he continues to remind me of that daily. It started earlier in the week when I was just trying to make it through the day and he asked for a snack. I got him one and as he ran off to continue whatever he was doing before hunger set in, he stopped in his tracks, turned to me and gave me a kiss, then ran off never looking back. He just knew... he knew what I needed. He also, out of nowhere continues to look at me and say "it's ok Mommy." It's as if my little man can sense the inner turmoil, because it is inner. I keep it all inside in front of them. Minutes after they are tucked in bed, it all comes out, but while they are with me, there is nothing for their eyes to see. I guess the reality of the year ahead of us has really set in. As I try to find a place to stay while I am gone, a car to rent (because my car needs to be here with the boys), get care for the boys, pay our bills and continue on with our daily lives...