A total quickie
Sometimes quickies are all life allows and if you read last nights, or this mornings rather, post, you will see that I slept for approximately 3 hours last night. Which led to a complete meltdown come mid day today leading to me pulling up to the boys school in a heap of tears. Lucky for me the schools director, who happens to also be my friend, rounded up the boys for me, brought them out, piled them into the car and sent us on our way~home. Where we needed to be. We all piled into Mommy's bed and we laid there until Daddy got home. It was one of those days where I clung to every fiber of my being to keep going. But I have peeps. Peeps who won't let me fall.
Jaime, whom I had a walk date with this morning. Who bought me tea and a book with sayings cause we all know I love inspirational sayings. She brought her wisdom and her laughter and she allowed me to just vent and when it got deep, she listened and then God, yah he stepped in and made us literally pee ourselves laughing on a sidewalk downtown with old people everywhere staring at us. It was awesome. I left renewed.
Then, Ashley who I mentioned above, reminded me it's ok to cry and to be tired. Who also reminded me that I have many more days like to today coming up and that it is OK to lean on those around me. I hate it. I hate, hate, hate having to lean on people, but I am learning and I thank you Ashley for reminding me me of that.
Beth who didn't hear from me all day shoots me a text and knows when she doesn't hear from me that I am man down and doesn't ask she just says she will be here in the morning to get my kids, all of them, and that I will sleep. She knows how I am. She knows I don't like help. She knows I feel guilty so she just doesn't give me the option. To know I can sleep in tomorrow is seriously like freaking winning the lottery right now. Thank you "Martha" for always taking the bull by the horns. You know me well!
Then this evening, oh sweet heavens this evening....
I had set up a photo shoot with this photographer that I ran across through this whole Lion King circle of life thing to which I will elaborate more on tomorrow. She is good, by the way. I set up this shoot because my mind always has to do these shoots just before big surgeries just in case. I know, its morbid, but its what I do. Anyway, I met her tonight. Loved her, Pax loved her and couldn't quite say her name (Monet) so "Mommy" it was. Anyway at the end of our bad a*# beach session she handed me a card. I immediately asked her if I was going to cry. Any guesses on whether I did or not?
Monet, Jaime and Family, Nicole and Family, Miss Dunwiddie, The Harris Family, Ms. Jennifer, The Folz Family and Kathy Morris and Family~ from the bottom of my heart I thank you for the gift of this photo session. These pictures of our boy are priceless to us. I can't wait for you all to see how happy and free he was tonight on the beach. He is at home there. He loves it. I drove home in the dark and the two of us, "the dynamic duo", were both completely quiet. It's like that fresh air and salt left us both capable of figuring out the world. I contemplated a lot on that 30 minute drive home. I contemplated the people that have come into our lives since making one very simple decision 6 months ago. You all have welcomed us, you have taken our family under your wings, wrapped us in love and prayer beyond measure and there is never enough thank you for that. To all of you, we thank you. For tonight. For last week. For every single day that you think about our boy, our hero and lift him up in prayer. He is truly a testament of strength and I have never been more proud of anything in my entire life.
Thank you friends old, new, near and far for taking me from rock bottom this afternoon and renewing me tonight.
We love you all!
I am going to go to bed now. I am going to catch up so that when I see you next I can thank you face to face!
Sweet dreams will surely grace me tonight because of you!
Love and hugs
~J
ps I apologize in advance for missing words or horrible grammar. I am cross eyed at this point, but would not have slept a wink had I not had a chance to thank my peeps! If I could call every single one of you right now I SO would, ok lets be real here. I do NOT talk on the phone :)
Jaime, whom I had a walk date with this morning. Who bought me tea and a book with sayings cause we all know I love inspirational sayings. She brought her wisdom and her laughter and she allowed me to just vent and when it got deep, she listened and then God, yah he stepped in and made us literally pee ourselves laughing on a sidewalk downtown with old people everywhere staring at us. It was awesome. I left renewed.
Then, Ashley who I mentioned above, reminded me it's ok to cry and to be tired. Who also reminded me that I have many more days like to today coming up and that it is OK to lean on those around me. I hate it. I hate, hate, hate having to lean on people, but I am learning and I thank you Ashley for reminding me me of that.
Beth who didn't hear from me all day shoots me a text and knows when she doesn't hear from me that I am man down and doesn't ask she just says she will be here in the morning to get my kids, all of them, and that I will sleep. She knows how I am. She knows I don't like help. She knows I feel guilty so she just doesn't give me the option. To know I can sleep in tomorrow is seriously like freaking winning the lottery right now. Thank you "Martha" for always taking the bull by the horns. You know me well!
Then this evening, oh sweet heavens this evening....
I had set up a photo shoot with this photographer that I ran across through this whole Lion King circle of life thing to which I will elaborate more on tomorrow. She is good, by the way. I set up this shoot because my mind always has to do these shoots just before big surgeries just in case. I know, its morbid, but its what I do. Anyway, I met her tonight. Loved her, Pax loved her and couldn't quite say her name (Monet) so "Mommy" it was. Anyway at the end of our bad a*# beach session she handed me a card. I immediately asked her if I was going to cry. Any guesses on whether I did or not?
Monet, Jaime and Family, Nicole and Family, Miss Dunwiddie, The Harris Family, Ms. Jennifer, The Folz Family and Kathy Morris and Family~ from the bottom of my heart I thank you for the gift of this photo session. These pictures of our boy are priceless to us. I can't wait for you all to see how happy and free he was tonight on the beach. He is at home there. He loves it. I drove home in the dark and the two of us, "the dynamic duo", were both completely quiet. It's like that fresh air and salt left us both capable of figuring out the world. I contemplated a lot on that 30 minute drive home. I contemplated the people that have come into our lives since making one very simple decision 6 months ago. You all have welcomed us, you have taken our family under your wings, wrapped us in love and prayer beyond measure and there is never enough thank you for that. To all of you, we thank you. For tonight. For last week. For every single day that you think about our boy, our hero and lift him up in prayer. He is truly a testament of strength and I have never been more proud of anything in my entire life.
Thank you friends old, new, near and far for taking me from rock bottom this afternoon and renewing me tonight.
We love you all!
I am going to go to bed now. I am going to catch up so that when I see you next I can thank you face to face!
Sweet dreams will surely grace me tonight because of you!
Love and hugs
~J
ps I apologize in advance for missing words or horrible grammar. I am cross eyed at this point, but would not have slept a wink had I not had a chance to thank my peeps! If I could call every single one of you right now I SO would, ok lets be real here. I do NOT talk on the phone :)
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Ashley