Austins 5th Birthday!




Dearest Austi Bear~

I look at you and melt.  Your sweet, angelic face had me from hello. Your coy smile wins me over every time.  I absolutely adore the little gap in your bottom teeth and your dimple, oh those "dimpies"  are the cherry to my sundae.  I canNOT believe you are 5!  I remember the day you were born like it happened minutes ago.  You have been amazing from the moment we met you and for all the struggles you have had to conquer you rally through like the "super hero" you really are.  You fought physical therapy tooth and nail and today we couldn't hold you back if we tried. You have opened yourself up little by little and in a mere 3 months we have seen enormous strides in your personality.  You are obsessed with me today just as deeply as you were the day you were born.  You are my golden boy and Daddy says its time to "cut the cord". I say that cord can stay as long as you like.  I love when you climb into my bed and snuggle up against me.  If I could bottle your smell I would.  I love your belly laugh like I love french fries and if I could listen to your sweet, precious little voice all day every day I would.  I am so stinking proud of you for taking the last two years and fighting them like hell, but also fighting through them.  You were lost when Mommy was gone~ heartbroken and sad, but you pushed through when I was worried you were forever hurt.  My resilient, strong boy has come back stronger than ever and my pride continually flows as I listen to you spell your name or watch you love on your baby brother.  Some days I think of how deeply I love you and your brothers and it scares me.  I will never be who I was before you. I can never go back to that freedom, not that I would want to, but know that so long as there is air in my lungs I will love you, be here for you, fight for you and show you the way.  There will never be a day that shall you need me, I won't be there. You will never call and not reach me. You will never cry out and not hear me coming.  I am your Mommy now and forever and that is the greatest gift in the entire world.  "I like you today Austin."  I like you every day for the rest of my life and I am so glad "you like me" too (insert his hands on my face here as he says it) for as a wise Aunt of yours once said, like almost means more than love, because there are people I love that I don't necessarily like today, but "like" that's big stuff right there.  Happy, happy birthday gorgeous, gorgeous boy!

What you like today:

Batman
Trains
Jack Bode
Karate
Swimming
Stupid Sponge Bob (gahh!)
Sleepovers with Mom
All Ocean Creatures
Noodles, noodles and more noodles
Strawberries
"Daddy juice"
Boating/Beaches/Lakes



You think you are "almost a grown up" now that you are 5. You boss Mason around like it's your job. Are as kind as can be to Paxton.  Will go to the ends of the Earth for Mommy. Love to play ball with Daddy. Are afraid of monsters to which we bought magic monster lights to keep them all away.  You are now playing pretend play with your toys and making up stories (love to eavesdrop on that) you go to First Pres. Your teacher is Miss Dunwiddie. Your class friend is Cyrus.  You are door man on the playground and open the door for everyone. You say please and thank you all the time. You think burping is funny.  You think laughing is funny just because. You no longer think when I laugh that I am laughing at you (thank god).   You have grown up tremendously over the Summer and as much as I want to keep you little I adore watching you grow up.




To forever baby boy!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy One Month Birthday Baby Boy

Image
Today our son turns one month old!  There were days when I was still pregnant with him that we were not sure he would be alive to see this day. God, has blessed us. He is here. He is perfect. He is fighting the biggest fight of his life.  Just as sure as the H (home) word was mentioned to us as a possibility in a couple of weeks yesterday, I in turn, got the phone call at 2 a.m. this morning that his heart is struggling.  His heart is working so hard to keep going. It is a delicate balance. One day everything looks picture perfect and hours later it all changes.  I am working on not looking to far down the road, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one prayer at a time. Today our son turns one month old and the alternative makes me realize that I/we can do this. Even though there will be many tears through out this, many angry days, sad ones and joyful ones. I do believe that God has a plan for us and for our son and as we wait to learn what that plan is, I am finding a patience I ha...
Read more

Stream Of Consciousness

Image
I honestly didn’t realize until today why I have been the weepy mess that I have been these last few weeks. I thought I was tired.  I thought well you have five kids and lots to remember. I am prone to anxiety. I worry to much which is definitely nothing new.  I attributed the constant crying to all things other than the obvious, which after ten years one would think I would have down by now.   It’s February.   It is heart month and I don’t mean cupid.  It is real heart month.   The hearts who are sick, broken, healing, or in heaven… We honor, celebrate, recognize and weep over all things Congenital Heart Defects.  I used to be able to post a lot more about it.  I used to write a lot more about it, but I have found as time goes on that well… I don’t have a ton of time for it, but also I think I’ve been avoiding it as well… because after 10 years… words don't come to me like they used to…there is just no time line and I haven’t...
Read more

And he's off

Paxton is out of surgery and recovering. He is heavily sedated as of now, but all went well and doctors are happy with the repair. God is good! Prayers were answered. Today is a damn good, beautiful day. I will update more later. Thank you all for walking this journey beside us ! Update 8:10 am. Just got call they have made the first incision and are working through scar tissue now. He is stable and doing awesome. 7:20 am They have taken Paxton back to the OR. I will update when I know more. Please pray for my boy. ~j
Read more