2011

When I look back over the past year I realize what a whirlwind it has been.  I think about just how much has happened in that time.  How much I have changed, how my family has changed and how much life has changed.  Some days it's all to much, but most I am full of gratitude for all that those 365 days have taught me.
Christmas was amazing as I watched my babies glow in the excitement that Santa and presents and company all bring.  They were truly in heaven and giggled and belly laughed til they could no more. We made cookies and lots of "nom nom's"  to fill our tummies!  We decorated and sang carols all cheesy like. The boys made me pee myself singing.  Jingle bells came out "Shingle bells" and they never really got the lyrics to the end so they just mumbled along and it was too funny.   Suffice it to say they got a little jingle jangled with their lyrics, but it made for oh' so funny video footage.  They'll thank me later ; )

Austin has made it very clear he loves photography as much as his Mommy and decided to once again hop in on all the action and take a couple shots himself. I gotta say, for four years old, the kids got an eye.

(Seriously, Austin took this! Impressive right?)

We had our favorite people over, those who love the boys best and they had ants in their pants over all the fuss Christmas brings... oh' to be a kid again. I would watch them do their hand flapping, pee pee dance of excitement and wish for just a moment that I could return to that place of innocence.  That place where ones biggest fear is of boogy "mans" in the dark.  There is no concept of the things that fill my mind on a daily basis for them and I spend my entire life trying to allow them to stay that way for as long as possible.  Some people say I spoil them. Some tell me I need to be harder, tougher, stronger with them.  I say, "bite me", for what I would give to be a child again.  What I would give to have a Mama that will cuddle with me til the worlds stops turning.  A Mama that can calm the wildest tantrum with gentle words instead of threats.  A Mama that has shown so much love that her boy will randomly turn to her all the time and say "I wuv you too Mommy!"  A Mama that tries with every ounce of her being to keep the world and all of it's adulthness away for as long as humanly possible, because dammit there's enough time for that.
So of course I go all out for Christmas, with sheets that remind them of Santa heading towards them on his sleigh to look at every night as heavy eyes drift off.  With decorations at every turn.  Candy filled jars on every table (for the record the boys did just got to the dentist last week ; ).  That's how my Grandma did it for me and that's how I will always do it for my boys.  That sparkle of excited innocence emanating every corner of our house and a Mama who thrives off it far more than she should.

It's what life is all about.  Piling in the car on Christmas eve to wander the neighborhood streets with windows down screaming at the top of our lungs "Happy Holidays friends!" Listening to the boys oooh and awww over each house we passed.  I got all misty eyed and introspective as I glanced in the backseat at my whole life.

Pure heaven they are!

Then returning home to put cookies on a plate for Santa and watch as their cups runneth over at the mere reminder of what morning brings.  Oh' sugar plums were dancing in their heads, for sure. 

And Mommy's and Daddy's who then ran upstairs and did assembly line style passing of hidden presents to under the tree.   I sorted and stacked and arranged as if my life depended on it.  It had to be just right.  It had to be just so, for my babies who mean more than anything to me.  

When morning came we had to hold them back while I went to grab the camera so I could get that first shot of my sleepy eyed babies making their way to the tree...

(Paxtons infamous old man smile)

(Thank you Janet for the lovely wrap job ; )

Then we piled in the car and made our way to the dam fams house ; ) and began all over again. The talking and laughing, screeching and running, eating and pouring.  

(Above and below pictures courtesy of Austin~ haha Meme ;)

("Nana" and my workout partner, diet pepsi (blech!) loving, goldfish cracker scarfing, will do anything for you peep) 

One of the boys most favorite people ever! They demand "Morgans" at any given time.  The first person I ever left my first born with -HUGE!  And one of my closest  nugz inhaling, trey songz drooling, nuvo chugging, greys obsessed, short dress wearing, diet coke loving, always there peeps!

( The boys "Nanny" and my personal fashionista, diet coke bringing, obsessed with clean as much as I am, organizing fool, make you pee yourself laughing, Kardashian wanna be, take it all in stride peep)

Oooh we love us some good company!  It was a Christmas to remember for the boys and I know as they get even older they'll come to hopefully appreciate all of things that I hold near and dear to my heart about the holiday as well.  I am setting the traditions now so that one day they will be able to do them with their families.  Thank you Grams  and Gramps for instilling that in me.  I miss you more than you'll ever know.

It was epic and enjoyed by all...

We cheered to another year amongst us this past weekend.  May it bring health and peace for us.  I always wonder where we will be on every New Years eve, next year at this time.  I've come to realize holy crap there is no telling what plans have been laid for this impending journey.  Either way, I embrace it and hope for the best.  Life takes us to the edge and reels us in, this I know for sure.  Run from it or bathe in it, either way the world continues to spin and life goes on, so I'll just say "BRING IT 2011!" because there isn't much more that can knock me down than 2010 did!  I like to think we can only go up from here....

Happy New Year Dear Friends!

May you all find the joy that is to be had....  Pax sure has and man if we can't all learn some from him!

  (i am right in front of him here and this is how my boy looks at me, if there's anything better I don't know what it is...)

Love

~J