Thursday, September 23, 2010

Happy Fourth Birthday Austin

Dear Austin,

I think back to four years ago at this time and cannot believe how life has changed.  How you changed me.  Simply, you made me a Mom for the first time.  I knew I would love you so deeply, because that's how I love anyway, so my child I knew would go beyond that.  However, my heart was completely unprepared for the magnitude of emotion you would bring.

 I remember you as a newborn in my arms, man was I so proud. You came out perfect and wailing, angelic in every way.  Four years later, nothing has changed. You are still perfect and angelic.  You are the most amazing big brother.

You are kind and sensitive.  If someone is crying so too are you.  You are just as in love with me as I you.  I can feel it. I can see it.

 The way in which you put both hands on my cheeks to kiss me melts me.  You can be angry as all get out and Mama can bring you to your knees instantly simply offering you a hug.

This year, as you grew from 3 to 4, was ultimately you hardest year yet.  I had to leave to care for your baby brother and it shattered your world.  You were simply put, lost, without me and I realized the connection that a first born has with his Mommy.  While it took awhile to get you back on track once I got home, you did it, and since then you have matured in ways that astound me.  It clearly broke both of our hearts to be separated for so long, but watching you walk into school like a big boy this year showed me that while it was excruciatingly painful to be apart, in the end there was good to be had from it.

You are a show off and yet super shy all at the same time.

 You love older boys and want to be a "big boy" so badly.  You dislike attention in every way possible just like me.  At your birthday this year when we all hooted and hollered as you walked through the door, you hit the deck in tears.  Yah, you get that from me.  You might just be the runner your Pa Paw dreams of. Sprinting is so much fun to you.  Your best friend at the moment is Sierra and man is Daddy proud it's a girl!  You love a party!  You love presents! You love going to the store because maybe, just maybe you'll get a treat.  You might be a little spoiled, but who can resist those deep dimples, I pinch them all the time.  You have a mad obsession with "kicks" ( better known as shoes). You are for sure at the age of being bossy.  Quite frankly, it's funny to hear you mimic what Daddy and I say. For example: "MASSONN!  You are going straight to time out!"  You LOVE to nap with me and every once in awhile I give in and let you just so we can snuggle. You beg me every day to "sweep in Mommy's bed" and every day I fight the urge to curl up beside you and drift off to never never land together.

Oh' Austin I am so proud of how far you have come in these four years. You were a late bloomer. Walking and talking did not come easily to you. You resisted speech and physical therapy with all that you had, only to turn around and run the fastest and talk the most.  Your intelligence will take you far. You know things that I don't even know you know. It's amazing all that you take in.
Your vitiligo only makes you more handsome and while I find you investigating it quite often, you seem content with the fact that it's "just a birth mark."  There isn't much that can take away from your beauty so while I have spent many a nights worrying for you, I know you will rock it.  

Becoming a Mommy is all I have ever wanted in life.  Thank you for giving me that. For showing me the way. For being an angel of a baby, an angel of a toddler and an angel of a person.  I know that you know I am always here for you, even at four, there's a depth to you that most your age do not have. You, well, you just get it.  I am here, you know that, always.  You and your brothers are my whole world and I would go to the ends of the earth for you.  The fierceness and the protectiveness that consumes you when you become a Mom is startling, but man if I wouldn't walk on fire for my babies.

Wherever you go, whatever you choose to do, do it with the passion that I know lives inside you.  Anything you put your mind to you can do and there will never be a moment that I am not waiting in the wings should you need me. You sweet, precious Mamas boy, always and forever.

There are no words for the depths of my love for you.

Love you mean it,


cici said...

Happy Birthday Handsome!
your Mom rocks too. :)

Neha said...

Many happy returns to the bog brother! He sure will lead by example and make his parents super proud!

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