Time With My Boys

I realized this evening that loss never leaves those who have had to let go to soon. One of my biggest struggles when Tadem passed was my need for wanting people to remember him. I have since come to grips with the fact that I may be the only one to remember him the way I want him to be remembered and that is ok. I know my baby boy is in heaven and I know I will see him again one day and he will feel the love I have for him. As time goes on, the pain diminishes and love remains in its place. People move on as well and the shock of the loss eases, yet the many dates and anniversaries never leave the one who's loss it was. I pray tonight that a dear friend finds peace on a day that should have been her sons 24th birthday. I cannot even begin to imagine the depths she has been to and yet she always comes out on top. I know her son is in heaven so proud of her strength. I, myself, admire that in her. She was there for me when I didn't know up from down. She has been there, is still there and will always be there. She knows the struggle and yet never loses faith. Missy, you are a pillar of strength. May you find peace knowing your boy is in heaven running among the stars.
Tonight, I held my boys a little tighter (if that's possible). I prayed a little harder and am reminded that this life here on Earth is not eternal. That every moment is precious. Even in the midst of tantrum throwing, meltdown, chaos I know that ultimately I am blessed to be in that moment. I am blessed that my boys are here with me, safe and healthy. I can truly say that I cherish all of the moments with my boys. Each and every God given second!
We had a wonderful day at the zoo today with our friends Eileen and Jack. I was happy that we got out and had so much fun that we came home wilted and exhausted. That's when you know it was a day well spent. Austin loves the "aminals" and told me when I laid him down for a nap that "he had fun with Jack" I love that he can talk to me now and tell me how he feels.


We came home and napped the late afternoon away! It was pure ecstasy!
This evening Daddy put together their "first" scooters. I know with my husband being the crazy man that he is that these scooters are only the beginning! The boys thought they were awfully cool so I had to share. Once they get the hang of it, I know they will be blowing through the house like mad men. For now I am relishing the fact that they are just practicing!


And ignoring the fact that for the money I spent on two scooters, the boxes held their entertainment far longer!

Lastly, I FINALLY got my 21 week belly shot! I feel much bigger than I am. Everyone says I have "popped." What do you think?

We have an appointment on Friday, wish us luck and I will be sure to update you.
Good night for now and be sure to hold your loved ones extra close. Even in the midst of madness, remember that life offers us no guarantees, so find its beauty every day!