The Wild Wild Wests

My wonderful husband, in the midst of all that is going on with our son, dealing with the business and unkind people who's lack of compassion continue to astound me, still managed to make my birthday special. The boys went wild over the cake! My big boy Austin was determined to blow out the candles for me. It was adorable to watch him huff and puff, but he did not give up and by golly he did it! Then today, after a mini meltdown at having to leave my boys in 3 days, I pulled it together for one last date night before the birth of our third son. As I was getting ready, Dave took this picture of me and he took it because my big belly was literally resting on the counter as I did my hair. It actually is pretty funny! (Notice my Praying For Paxton bracelet = ) *********************** Course, I have to share this last picture! It is my favorite place to be. The place I will miss most while I am gone. I soak it up and relish every moment with my beautiful boys! ********************* I...

Today I turned 30! I can't believe I have been on this earth for 30 years. So much of my life seems like a movie that I watched long ago. I have definetly come full circle. It has taken time and sometimes heart ache to find out who I really am, but I know who I am now. I know my purpose in life and I am proud of who I have become. I spent some of my birth day in the hospital checking up on baby Paxton. He is getting pretty big and running out of space, therefore his movement has decreased significantly and it has me nervous. They checked me and he seems to be doing fine. We are so close and I am so anxious. The closer we get the more nervous I get that something could go wrong. I sort of had a melt down when I was released. I just went to the car and cried. I cried for all that we have gone through, for all that we are about to go through. I cried for the enormous burden my husband is taking on while I am gone. I cried for all that my son has to go through in his young life. I...

As I mentioned in my last post, SWIM FOR PAXTON was a huge success. It literally went off without a hitch and I truly believe this happened because we had many amazing people that allowed it to do so. Even the rain held out until the very end. I wanted to post some pictures of the fun that was had by all. Enjoy and from our family to yours, we thank you once again... ******* Entrance where silent auctions, 50/50 raffle and donation box were placed. Face painting table for the kids. The West boys enjoying the bounce house. Pictured here are just a few of our wonderful supporters. Many, many more stopped by to show their love for Paxton. A little emotional as Kimmie introduced us and announced the reason behind the fundraiser. And I had just had to put this one on here too, because by the look that is so full of love on my face, it is quite apparent that I am looking at one of my children... Paxtons big brothers started off the swim and others joined in, even an adult race was held! Th...

It's late. I am tired. I cannot shut my mind down. I am going back through this evening. An evening put on by dear friends for our son. It's still hard to believe this is my life I am writing about. It's all so bittersweet because I would give the amazing experience that tonight was for us back in an instant if it meant my sons heart was healthy and yet tonight showed me more kindness and compassion than I have seen in a long, long time. People...lots of people, beautiful families and smiling children all came together tonight for a cause that has become my life and for so many that joined us, the cause was for a family they did not even know. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness and the need to thank each and every person. While I know that cannot happen, especially given that I am giving birth in less than two weeks, I am hoping that some may read this and know that while I cannot thank each and everyone personally, our family has been reminded tonight of the good that r...

Today we had a check up on Paxton. We are two weeks out from his delivery and his heart remains unchanged at this point, which in this instance is a good thing. He continues to practice his breathing, weighs 6 pounds 2 ounces and is 18 inches long!!!! Way to go Paxton! The fact that he continues to grow and thrive is such a blessing. I can NOT believe we are so close to meeting him, I am a mix of emotions, but when I saw that face on the screen today in 3 D, I was reminded that above all else I am so excited to meet our son. This will be an uphill battle for sure, but I am ready to face this head on. I want to get this show on the road so we can get our boy home. Please continue to pray for Paxton! * Since its been awhile, I decided to post and show just how much Paxton has grown! He is definetly running out of room and makes it known with the jabs, kicks and punches that he gives me. My strong boy! Yes, I am in my husbands shirt. I have like 3 shirts that fit me at this point and...

In all honesty, I think I am on the verge of another meltdown. As we head into just over two weeks until I deliver our boy, I am a wreck of emotions. Some days I am so excited, others I am cranky, sad, nervous. Tonight...well tonight I am terrified. I can think of no other word than terrified. I am trying to keep it all together. Trying to be positive. Trying to be brave, but I am terrified. There are so many what if's. So many unknowns. I don't want to be away from my family. I don't want to say good bye to my boys for one day, let alone thirty or more. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to act normal when my whole world has been turned upside down. I don't know how to just sit here and do nothing as we wait. I don't know how to pass the time quicker so we can get this show on the road, and yet I dread time passing because it means leaving my babies. How do I leave them? How do I do this? I have so many amazing people surrounding me a...

I say it over and over again, I just cannot believe how quickly the time flies. It literally feels like just yesterday when we were celebrating the boys 1st and 2nd birthdays, where the mere singing of Happy Birthday had the boys like this: Give them a year to grow on and they wind up like this: Happy 2nd and 3rd birthday Mason and Austin! A year to mature, become braver and smarter. Mason has gone from a crawling, non talking chunky monkey to a running full speed ahead, jumping off of couches, screeching at the top of his lungs, demanding, talking little man. Austin is the smartest, most observant, bossy, snuggle bug, chatter box around. They have grown into their own personalities and yet you never see one without the other. Opposite as night and day and yet the best of friends. As I watch them grow up, I am amazed at their intelligence, their ability to adapt, their fascination with the world around them and the love they have to give. I am the most blessed Mommy in the world b...