Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mommy's Day

This day holds  many different emotions for so many. I have spent a great deal of time today thinking of the many Mommy's who spent the day today in a hospital room bedside to their child.  I have spent time thinking about the Mommy's who have babies in heaven. Who wish this day never existed because each time that it rolls around it ribs the scab that has formed since the last reminder.  I have spent a great deal of time today thinking about my own Mom. Who I do not presently know and have not seen since grade school. How that is possible, I will never know, because lord help me if ever there were a day that I didn't have access to my babies.  I have spent time thinking about the Mommy that I am and the Mommy I will continue learning to be, because really the learning never ends.  I have spent time thinking about all the Mommy's in my life and in my kids lives.  I spent time thinking of our baby boy in heaven.
It is... a day that makes us all stop and reflect.  I, for one, gave tremendous thanks to God for bestowing three amazingly perfect children on me. I, no more than any other eager woman, deserve to be so blessed and I never take that for granted. Ever.
I smiled today because it was just another day, but that is what being a Mommy is.  I changed diapers. I kissed boo boo's. I gave hundreds of kisses.  I tucked in to bed. I rocked. I stared into my youngest son's eyes in the dark with just enough light for us to see the other. We locked eyes and stayed that way for a long time.  He rested on my chest and never looked away until eventually his eyes became heavy enough and closed.
All I have ever wanted in this life is to be a Mommy. Even when I couldn't yet be one, I was to cabbage patch dolls, dogs, cats, other peoples children. Whatever I could get my hands on and "mother", I did.


This weekend my husband and I got away for a night, the first one alone since Paxton was born.

We joined friends at The Cove, a local little getaway on the water. I walked in and instantly remembered the last time I had been there.  It's weird how places do that to you.  I realized how long it had been. I didn't even know my husband at the time and I longed to be a Mommy. At the time I never knew what beautiful road lie ahead for me and sitting there, the warm fuzzies floating in my belly, I realized that life is so good.  We soaked in the view, the smell of salty water, I said a private hello to my Gramps as I sat surrounded by his one great love, sailboats.  We watched the canoe races, laughed and loved.

And when we packed up to head home from our amazing "staycation" I would be driving home to the best life a girl could ask for.  I was thankful for the little trip back in time, to realize that my dreams have without a doubt come true.  My husband asked me what I wanted for Mothers Day and I said absolutely nothing. I have all that I need sleeping in my bed and down the hall in their toddler beds. Today does not need a present to make me realize that. Every day is Mothers Day to me.  Every day that I get to snuggle and have my boys here with me is reason to celebrate because I have never forgotten the gift that is three children to fill our home.

Paxtons shirt says it all.  My children portray it all. If only adults could learn all that children know and we forget as we grow...

Dearest Austin, Mason and Paxton,

You three will never know the depths of my love for you. I try every day to show you. I try every day to learn from you.  You three are the greatest teachers Mommy has ever been blessed with. You make me smile from ear to ear, you make me belly laugh, you make me cry the happiest of tears.  I think of my life without you and I falter. You are my whole entire world. My reason for living. While I do understand it is my job to give you wings, always know that where ever you choose to land I will be right behind you the entire way. Cheering, rooting you on or picking you up when you fall. I am always, always here for you.

My Cup Runneth Over Sweet Sweet Boys~
Love Mommy


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