Today was a day that tested my strength.
After Fridays amazing ultrasound, I began to finally let myself get excited over this pregnancy and the growing baby in my belly. I spent the weekend so grateful for this baby's health thus far.
Today, I went to the bathroom to find that I was spotting. I was in a hurry and very nearly did not notice but I did and panic ripped through me. I stood paralyzed in a very real moment of facing loss again. The boys were with me so I did all that I could to push the sobs down and away so they would not see.
Of course, I immediatly called the doctor. They got me in and did, yet again, an ultrasound. There was a heartbeat! The baby was fine! The placenta was perfect. My cervix was as it should be. There is no rhyme or reason for the spotting. They assured me everything is fine! I finally felt oxygen flow through my body again. I think I was holding my breath praying for the best but preparing for the worst.
I stepped back and realized that although the baby is fine, I must still tread lightly. I let go of a lot of my worries after Friday and maybe I did it a bit to soon. So, I will take each day as it comes. Although we have been blessed with another pregnancy, HE did not say it would be easy.
On a lighter note, I am 15 weeks pregnant this week! I was laying in bed last night reading People magazine. Lost in the Hollywood drama when I suddenly realized the fluttering just above my pubic bone. I stopped and sat very still only to realize that the very active baby I have been telling you all about, was kicking me. It wasn't the kick you would think of but more of a pointer finger just tapping me lightly from the inside. Early, yes! However, this is my fourth go round at this and I know what I am feeling by now. I mentioned this to the nurse and she said it's very possible to feel it at this point due to my size and that this is my fourth pregnancy.
Then on the way home today after my scare, I felt the fluttering again! S/He was telling me that everything was o.k.
As for my other two angels. They are doing amazing. Mason is completely obsessed with his "Ma Ma" right now and will not let me out of his sight. In fact, he won't even let me do anything except be with him. He knows I will give in for I do NOT let other things take precedence when wants to be with me. When he pulls on my legs and looks up at me with those beautiful eyes, screaming "Ma Ma!" i just cannot even begin to NOT give in. He says it like he's a little Italian man too. It's so darn cute! He continues to talk up a storm. He still sleeps in our closet at nap times. This set up seems to allow everyone a much better rest. Today during story time at Barnes and Noble, we were singing a song and Mason got up on the little stage, front and center, and started to dance. The more the Moms laughed and clapped, the more he danced. Dave Jr. through and through. Mr. Personality!
Austin is growing up so fast. He is feeding himself with utensils now! He loves to dance and "jump" about. He is imitating and pretend playing. He pretends to feed his little animals. He calls his dinosaurs Mommy and Daddy dinosaurs. He also knows where "his" baby is. If you ask him, he will pull up my shirt and point to it saying "baby." He loves to swim and go under water now. His favorite thing to do is take his big red car and tip it upside down to "crash" it and then climb about in it. I am blown away by how quickly he is growing up. Happy and sad all at the same time.
The boys love each other so much and I am so happy that they have each other.
Blessed beyond blessed!