Sunday, August 23, 2009

Where Does The Time Go

Yesterday was a day that sort of crept up on me. Sometimes after loss, you don't realize how a reminder can sneak up on you out of nowhere. My dad holds an annual road race every year as a fundraiser for his running team and yesterday was the that day. As I was showering Friday night thinking about the race I realized that it has been a year already since I found out I was pregnant with Tadem. It was last year at my Dad's race that I announced to the family that I was pregnant with him. I had a shirt made that said, "third times a charm" and while it took my ever so sharp Sister and Mother to "get it" they eventually did. I had no idea at that time, the year that lay ahead of me. I stand on the other side of that year pretty darn proud of myself. The reminder really stung, but I see how far I have come. I was rock bottom for awhile there, but I now know the purpose and lesson in my loss and for that I am ever so grateful. I look down at my very large belly right now and smile, for I am reminded that life is ever changing and that there are no guarantees. I may have feet that ache so bad right now I just assume chop them off nor am I sleeping worth a darn and I have gained the most weight I have ever gained during pregnancy which has me feeling like crap about myself, but what I don't feel is anything but joy over this blessing. I am taking every ache, pain and pound as a gift. I am pregnant, very pregnant and that is amazing. I did not think I would ever make it to 8 months again but here I am, counting down the days until I meet my baby. Dreaming of whether it is a girl or boy. Knowing that in the blink of an eye I will be looking back on this very post in hindsight wondering where did the time go...
This picture of my boys brings me to tears. Look at them!

I sometimes wonder what they would do without each other...

Masons little feet hanging on with all he has trying to be a big boy like his brother. I think I can...I think I can... and he so did!

Of course I had to post these pictures too!


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