The Wild Wild Wests

And every night hereafter indefinitely until doctors say Paxton's heart is well enough to not have to eat every three hours.... (Remember his resting heart rate is nearly 150 beats per minute so as he sleeps he is burning off weight at lightening speed. So eating is crucial to maintaining his plumpness and allowing for surgery number two to take place) This is the couch at the end of my bed and every morning as sure as the sun rises you will see cushions full of dirty diapers, eaten bottles, empty medication syringes, burp clothes and yes even pukies to which I did not get to cleaning at 3 am. All of which is strewn about in my sleep deprived haze.  What I can say is that, no matter how exhausted I am, I always take those middle of the night feeds to gaze at my little man, rub his head and listen to the noises he makes as he gulps his "ba ba". I never take a moment for granted with him and have actually come to love holding him in the quietness of the early morning hours...

(Please pray that baby Paxton manages to miss catching this bug that's storming our house!)

I mentioned a couple of posts back that I was on overload and had some things weighing heavy on my heart. It's taken awhile, but now I am ready to share. My kids have been through more change in the past four months than any child should ever have to.  While kids are amazingly resilient, it is quite apparent the tole it has taken on them.  It saddens me and breaks my heart.  Mostly because I know in two months they will have to go through it all over again.   Austin, our oldest, is just like me. Super sensitive and does not deal well with change.  While he seemed to keep it together while I was gone, it seems he is having some "rebound behavior" (a therapist friend I have been consulting informed me of this behavior) now that I am home and things are returning to normal. (Well... a different sort of normal for us now) He gets stressed pretty easily, cries and tantrums at the drop of a hat and will walk around even when I am right beside him and say "I want my Mom...

Whew!  That was one heck of an illness. Flu like and strange. Knock on wood, none of the kids have gotten sick yet. I pray and pray they don't, especially Paxton for obvious reasons.  It really struck me while I was sick the lengths a Mom will go for her children. I seriously thought I might perish (dramatic, I know! I am known for that) at one point during this illness and yet I somehow mustered up the strength with a little help from my savior, M, yet again, to get up, get ready, pack up Paxton and drive all the way to Fort Myers for an RSV vaccine clinic that is only held once a month for high risk babies. I had no choice but to go and I did.  Saturday, I woke up in tears because I didn't understand why I wasn't getting better and once again I got myself ready (sorta...if throwing on a sweater and wrapping hair in a bun is what you call ready) packed up the older boys and took them to a birthday party. Outside of course so I didn't get any kids sick.  They had a frea...

Long time, no see guys!  I have been sooo sick, but am better now. Before I got sick, I had big plans.  The plans were to help my sister, who has never gone over 5 miles run a half marathon. I had my mind set on doing this when I got sick so I prayed and pretty much begged God to get me better before the big day and he listened.    You may or may not know that running is in my blood.  While I didn't get the fast "gene" I did get the can go forever slowly gene = ). My dad has been a runner forever, ran in college and coached me all through high school. My freshman year of high school was when I decided to do my first half marathon. I did it and I did it with no walking. That's my Dad's rule. Run as slow and steady as you need to, but NO walking. So, since my sister is going to be a freshman in high school next year, she decided it was time she completed her first half.  The moment she told me that she was doing it, I started training so I could surprise her on the...

I really have so much to share. Beautiful pictures, fun times and heart wisdom.  HOWEVER, I am sick with something and it is kicking my "heiny".  Man, I have tried to fight it, but as the day has dragged on I am feeling worse and worse.  This means that I need to rest as much as possible.  So, don't give up on me. Keep on checking in cause I have lots to share and I will do so as soon as I am up and running again!

There are some things weighing heavy on my heart right now. Things that I will share once I have a better handle on it.  I am just asking God to guide me in the right direction. When I wake to feed Paxton at 4 am, I am praying and asking for guidance. When I lay my head to rest at night, I pray and doze off mid prayer. I am hoping God understands my exhaustion.  These added worries are only making me more tired.  As a Mother, I will do whatever is needed for my children, but sometimes the starting point is the hardest place to find.  My heart walks around in these little children that my husband and I created, and it is powerful beyond words. I think back to all that we have endured this past year and I am confident that this too shall pass.  When I feel overwhelmed I stop, breathe and look around at all of the blessings bestowed upon us.  God never gives us more than we can handle and while some days I feel like a failure as a Mother. An gem of a friend told me this, "Jen, you ar...

That I Love This Near Freezing Weather Here In Florida So I Can Bundle My Babies Up In Their Jackets And Beanies.   All While Begging Them To Take Their Fingers Out Of Their Noses For Just One Picture  Only To Wonder How They Can Make Picking Noses So Dang Cute Making Them Late To School Just So I Could Stand Them In Front Of The Door To Take Endless Pictures In Their Winter Gear Cause Normally They Are Barefoot, Sweaty And Shirtless. To Realize That I Have Three Of The Cutest Boys I Have Ever Seen.  I'm Just Sayin...

Update: Contest closed! Melissa @ Mom of Four Monkeys was our 20,000th hit with picture proof! Congrats Melissa! Your flip is en route! For those who didn't know, as several have asked, there is a visitor counter on the lower right hand side of my bar.  Who knows what we might give away at 30,000 so keep stopping by = ) I just happened to scan my blog and see that we are almost at 20,000 hits!!!! Who knew when I started this blog that I would even have a single, solitary person read it (besides my sister and biggest fan of course). My intention was to make it a journal for my children and it has become so much more. Our first year has been made into a book for us and I cherish it more than you know.  Paxtons journey has made me even more grateful that I have chosen to blog.  When I look back and see his journey I am reminded of all the mountains he has and continues to climb!  As I continue this blog for our family, for Paxton as he hovers near his next open heart surgery, for me a...

2009 starts with a bang as we prepare to move and try again at getting pregnant. Here are Austin and Mason in January 2009. The changes in just one year are amazing! We say good bye to our old home and hello to our new one! Ma Ma finds out she's pregnant! Happy Valentines Day Honey! We finally take the plunge and break the boys of their paci's. They did better than we ever imagined! We move Mason to his "big boy bed" although it takes some time for him to begin actually staying in it! Instead he chose the floor. The boys first Easter egg hunt and they caught right on! Our first trip to Sea World to see all of the "aminals" Austin is potty trained F-I-N-A-L-L-Y Dave's ahem...20th high school reunion Continued on the next post...