The Wild Wild Wests

After a morning that seemed like an eternity, it finally came time to find out our son's fate. I was on the verge of being sick all morning. The stress and fear was overwhelming. However, the moment our nurse took us back to do the scanning all over again, she told me to leave it at all at the door, she said we were in the right place and that there was so much that can be done for heart babies and it was time to relax now. After about 15 minutes of scanning, I literally almost fell asleep. The lack of sleep, the adrenaline, the nausea left my body as I laid and let them do what they needed to do. I knew I was where I needed to be and as I crashed from 4 days of paralyzing fear, a calm came over me and I felt that we might make it through this. So, here's what we know: Paxton has been diagnosed hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Hypoplastic left heart is a rare type of congenital heart disease. It is more common in males than in females. The problem develops before birth ...

In light of recent news, we decided to find out the sex of our baby. I would like to introduce you all to our son, Paxton David West. He has already proven to be quite a fighter, very much like his brothers (picking his nose on ultrasound = ) and a protege of his brother Mason. Even via ultrasound, there is no denying that he looks just like Mae Mae. He currently weighs 4 lbs 4 ounces inside my belly. As you can see from the picture, he has chubby cheeks and big, puffy kissable lips. He's extremely active, has hiccups all of the time and is loved beyond any sort of measure. I have always said, I can see myself with a house full of rambunctious boys and I pray that God has the same plan for us. I can continue to say, "my boys!" I can keep my email address (lovemywestboys). Dave can name his boat my 3 sons, which has been his dream since our first son was born. Another boy! What a blessing, no matter what the outcome. So now that we have a sex, a name and a...

Yesterday was a long, long day. I went in for my appointment at 1:30 and did not leave until 5:00 pm. They scanned me for 3 hours. It's not good..... Our baby is very sick...... I am not sure that I have wrapped my brain around all of that has been thrown at me in the last 24 hours so I will start with the facts. The baby has significant congenital heart disease. As she scanned me, she stopped, looked at me and said, "I want you to know you will leave here with information but there is a problem." The room closed in around me and I was less than seconds from passing out. I could not breathe. Tears immediatly flowed. She told me that there were things she needed to get to better determine how to help the baby and so I looked at my husband and asked him to help. Never have I loved him more as tears filled his eyes trying to be strong for me. It was happening all over again. As of what we know now, the baby's heart is bad. The right side is much larger tha...

As sure as the sun rises and sets, I am confident that God is giving me a run for my money this year. I wasn't sure if I wanted to share or write about this, but this blog was in fact started during one of the most difficult times in our lives and today's story is no different. We are yet again, leaving our baby in God's hands. To start, today was the boys first day of school. Mason did fabulously, but Austin had a hard time leaving his Ma Ma, as usual. I won't say I didn't cry either, I just did it once we left. The harder the fight he puts up the more I know he needs this time away from me, but that doesn't make it easy. Once I dropped them off, I had another check up on the baby. What I thought was going to be another routine check up was anything but. I had an ultrasound to check my cervical length because I tend to deliver early and my doctor wanted to be sure my cervix was where it should be. It was, but the baby's heart was not. It seems there...

Yesterday was a day that sort of crept up on me. Sometimes after loss, you don't realize how a reminder can sneak up on you out of nowhere. My dad holds an annual road race every year as a fundraiser for his running team and yesterday was the that day. As I was showering Friday night thinking about the race I realized that it has been a year already since I found out I was pregnant with Tadem. It was last year at my Dad's race that I announced to the family that I was pregnant with him. I had a shirt made that said, "third times a charm" and while it took my ever so sharp Sister and Mother to "get it" they eventually did. I had no idea at that time, the year that lay ahead of me. I stand on the other side of that year pretty darn proud of myself. The reminder really stung, but I see how far I have come. I was rock bottom for awhile there, but I now know the purpose and lesson in my loss and for that I am ever so grateful. I look down at my very large...

We decided since the boys are so into all things marine animals, to take a trip to Sea World this Summer. We got home last weekend and I am just getting around to blogging about it. It took me this long to recover and this long for my "cankles" to go down, ha! We did however, have a blast. For starters, a friend told us about this amazing resort to stay at. We took her advice, as I often do, and booked a place. We are not talking your typical hotel room. No, we got a three bedroom villa that was decorated ahem...nicer than my own house. The price was unbelievable, thanks to the economy, I am assuming and this set up allowed the boys to have their own room, my sister and brother theirs and we had an amazing master suite. Just so you get an idea of how nice it was, I did not feel the need to wear my shoes 2-4-7 as I do in a hotel room. I did not wipe anything down and even used the kitchen. For those of you who know me, I am a germ freak. I wipe everything down wherever w...

Well, we have been a busy family lately. We officially got our "mini." Although, I was feeling really guilty about getting rid of the Navigator that my husband so dearly loves, I know the switch is really what we needed. He says he is going to tint the windows so dark that no one can see him driving it. I am hoping he will get used to it and see how much easier it is after some adjustment time. Cause let me tell you, I freaking LOVE it! It is so convenient and easy for loading and unloading the kids. They, too, love it! They got in and looked around in total awe~it was cute! I am thinking they love it, how about you? Well, Ma Ma sure does and I am thankful to my honey who finally let me get my mini! I loved the "navi" too, don't get me wrong, but when you have a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a soon to be newborn, the coolness factor goes straight out the window and suddenly the swore I will NEVER get a mini van girl is begging for one. Practical wins in the...

Today was such an amazing day! We were given such a gift. Our doctors office got a new ultrasound machine and needed patients to practice on. Of course, I jumped at the chance to see our baby since it has been nearly 11 weeks since our last peek. It was truly breathtaking! For starters, I think I completely changed my mind from girl to boy. Going in today, I have been feeling that it's a girl, simply because this is the most active baby to date. I mean the child does not stop, which I consider a blessing this time around since we lost our last baby and I have been a little (ok a lot!) more nervous this pregnancy. So the constant movement has been so reassuring. The baby looks exactly like Mason. I mean s/he has his nose, his chin and his chubby cheeks. Oh' yes and s/he literally picked his or her nose right on camera for all to see. I mean, if that isn't Mason I don't know what is!!!!! See, that's MASON! Well, for those of you who know Mae Mae, that picture is...

Austin is our first born. My gentle, sensitive boy that has no doubt had to jump through many, many hoops. Although, I know there are others going through much, much more out there. In our world Austin has had a lot of issues we have had to work through. It started when he should have been crawling, walking and talking. I noticed then that he was delayed in these areas. I was told by our pediatrician that I was just a nervous first time Mother. When Austin continued to be severely delayed in crawling when he really should have been walking, I continued to push our doctor for a second opinion. In all honesty, it was my greatest fear that Austin had autism. He was not crawling, talking or walking as he should be. He would sit on his rug full of toys and circle his hands and feet continuously. Although he was sociable and very outgoing, the circling and delays had me extremely concerned. Finally, I got my doctor to refer him to a neurologist. With relief that we might be getting som...