making wishes come true...

the house is quiet...i should really shower or eat or whatever, but i am going to write because well...it's been to long. i love to stop by, drop bombs, and peace out for weeks on end. it's good suspense, no...? one of my new years resolutions was to make more time to write and since we are on day seven, almost eight at this rate, of the new year i can see that that resolution is quickly going to hell in a hand basket.  guess there's always next year...

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we did big things over the holidays.  cup runneth over things. made mad memories things.  first and foremost we celebrated a boy who struggled for three years to be here with us. who has endured hellish surgeries and recoveries to be here with us. and who did it with a grace we can all be envious of.  i still don't know where the time went, but here we are three years out, three open heart surgeries out and he is kicking ass and taking names. just today in fact, we went to the pediatricians office because he had a runny nose and come to find out he has a sinus and ear infection. coulda fooled me. kid is stoic as hell. fights like hell and won't back down. maybe that's who you become when your chest is cut open at one week old i don't know, but i can truly say he puts grown adults to shame and that my friends is worth celebrating! and celebrate we did.

thank you to Make A Wish Foundation for granting my hero his wish. those of you who visited us in the hospital over the years know that mickey mouse was our saving grace. that damn hot diggity dog song lifted him up when nothing else would and i would dance around like an idiot and his smile would creep through.  disney world was an option given those are mickeys digs and all, but because paxton hasn't yet learned to rest when he needs to we decided that was to much walking because lord knows "he's not a baby!" and won't go in a stroller or wagon. so the next best thing was "mickeys boat". two of his very favorite things.

they made it happen. and fast.  we got to go right before christmas and enjoy the ship decked to the nines.  they put the merry in christmas, i can tell you that.  and make a wish went all out on accommodations, treats, special snacks, special presents, pictures, meeting the characters and meeting others just like him.  oh' it was amazing to see the sheer joy not only on paxtons face, but his brothers who have also suffered through all of this as well.

The moment he set his eyes on the ship:

And this moment, yah, that one right there:

when i saw that smile (after lying about his age to get him on the slide, oopsie ;) and came to the realization that if he was never granted another day here on this earth that he is happy. and that's all a mom who has watched her child suffer can ask for.  in spite of his hospital memories, and let me tell you he does remember, he is still...happy.  this trip took all of that away.  yes there were tears, well just mommy's, but such happy tears. tears that for four days there was nothing but celebrating. there was no sadness, no what if's, no when do you think he will's...none of that.

and when i think back to those endless, endless days in the hospital. the tears shed, the pain inflicted, the struggle and the fight i am overwhelmed with gratitude that this time around it wasn't about what he has or what he will become. it was about letting him be a little boy, in a most magical place. a far, far cry from the confines of a hospital bed...

the make a wish party where there were other families like us brought me to tears which led dave to take away the mimosa thinking it was the champagne crying, but it was just same old me who has seen far more than she's ever wished to, sitting next to her boy who's been through more than any child should ever have to, looking around at the other children fighting fights they never asked to and so i cried.  bittersweet tears.  sad that any of it exists at all, but so happy for the children and the families surrounding us to be able to check out of sick world for awhile.

they say it's the happiest place on earth.... what do you think.....

thank you to those of you who made this possible. jaime, amanda, christina and everyone at make a wish foundation for their dedication to helping sick children and their families forget for awhile.

 for making their dreams come true and sparing nothing to make that happen. our cups runneth over!

love and hugs
~j