Picture Whore...

Yah, you read that right. Apparently that's what I am, according to my husband anyway. In truth he is right,  my I phone currently has 1, 825 pictures on it and that does not include the previous two phones that 1.) fell in the ocean or 2.) the toilet.  Clearly phones, water and myself are a bad/expensive mix.  Please do not tell me to get an Otter box, I have one already, it resides in my junk drawer, right where it belongs ; )  now, where was I, ahh yes 1, 825 pictures.

So maybe I am a picture whore.  I guess I could be worse no... Everyone says I post every. single. moment. of my kids lives on FB and you know what maybe I do.  I am proud.  They make me laugh.  They make me smile.  What's so wrong with that anyway.  So nah nah na boo boo to all you haters out there.  You just wish you were a West boy.
Whew... that said, I am clearly with a 5, 4  and 2 year old unable to post every day or even every week to the extent that I would like, but my pictures, oh my pictures I just have to share, even if I do it just for me to look back on so I am going to try to at the very least keep up with that.  Seeing as how everything other than cleaning, eating, preparing for the holidays and breaking up fights between brothers goes to the wayside.

Take ONE:

The boys presh school picture.  Have you ever seen a cuter run of the mill picture AND they got my brothers together!

Take TWO:

Our family Halloween picture.  Priceless!

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Mason gets a haircut.  He looks just like his Papaw now (my dad) and I can't stop smothering those cheeks!!!

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Family movie night. Piled in the living room eating pizza and popcorn.  Heaven!

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Have I mentioned how funny Paxton is....

First picture is so I can always find him around the house. Tie that B to his paci and off he goes.  Sa-weet!

And here I happened to catch him staring at himself in the slider...  Course I would stare at myself if I was that gorgeous too!

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This past weekend we went to an event called Redneck Yacht Club.  Mmm hmm... the name says it all!  We loaded up in my friend Beths motor home, a baller motor home at that, and went once again chillin on a dirt road. It was cold and AWESOME!  Muddy and CA-razy.  Beth and I were no doubt the most posh chicks there, but that's not to say we can't let our hair down and have fun, cause that, we did!

40,000 people lined the terrain of that old potato field now turned mud hole.  We piled in all willy nilly, parked where we could find a spot, surrounded by trailors, trucks, buggies and tents.  We started the bonfire, pumped the tunes and literally chilled on a dirt road.  I can now check a lot of things off of my bucket list after this past weekend.  I can also tell you how truly awesome a friend Beth is. The two of us were not on our A game heading into the weekend. She had been fighting a cold, I a bad headache.  Turns out the cosmetic bag with my medicine fell out of my big bag and was left behind in our car, 2 hours away.  Needless to say I woke up Saturday, feeling shady but managing.  Within hours I was completely man down from a migarine.  Like MAN DOWN!  Beth saved me and I mean literally. She unhooked the suburban from the trailor, put her not feeling so good self in and drove 2 hours home to get my medicine and bring it back to me.  Within the hour of her return I was up and able to join the land of the living i.e. last picture above.  Thank you Beth. I am not sure you know just what you did for me, but man do I OWE you!


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And finally I give you Mason.  My insanely congenial boy.  SO congenial we have had to have the stranger danger talk on more than one occassion with him.   This kid says the darndest things!!!!

This morning he had his finger so far up his nose I am sure he is touching cerebellum and he says "Mommy I feel a screw!"

Me:  "That explains a lot Mase..."

Or here when I walked into his classroom and saw just how precise he was on his thanksgiving day dinner wishes...  Cracks. Me. Up.  Even when I probably shouldn't be laughing!

it should also be noted that rylee is a bit of a show off dontcha think ; ))

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It's a good, good life.

As the holidays approach I become nostalgic, as do we all at this time I suppose.  I tend to be a little more than others I think because two years ago on this day, I was here. I knew it was close and I was right. The night before Thanksgiving Paxton came home for the first time.  I will never forget that day.  I can simply read my blog post and all of the feelings from any given day come rushing back to me.  God this journey is so emotional. I sit here crying because as much as I describe it in my writings there are no words for any of it.  None.  For all of my other heart/special needs mommys still hospitalized and fighting the hard fight, I honor you and give you praise.  I pray for your peace. 

I pray that I can continue forging ahead without looking at Paxton, hearing him pant, seeing his color and not feel my heart rise into my chest. He is a big boy.  He is showing signs of being ready for his next surgery and we just want to get him through cold and flu season, I pray for that too. I pray for strength as he will have his heart cath done in a little over a month to determine when that surgery will be.  I pray that autopilot kicks in high gear and we will have this next surgery behind us.  I pray for the day that I sit here blogging and he is post fontan running around like a crazy man.  While most days I am at peace with all of this, lately it's been a struggle.  It's scary and gut wrenching to see him work so hard to walk across the backyard. Dave and I just look at each other and give that knowing glance and he winks to let me know its OK.  

It. Is. What. It. Is.  so in the meantime I soak up every minute I can. I sneak him into bed with me when the hubs isn't looking. I sleep on the couch in his room. I smother him in kisses.  I memorize every square inch of him.  I record that belly laugh in my head.  

I give thanks to those in his life that truly love him. That love me, in all my ugly cry gloriousness, for me.   That pick me up when I am crying in front of a bon fire.  That tell me it's ok to melt somtimes.  That bring me a towel and socks when he looks cold. That get him a drink just because they know he needs one.  That love him without fail and fear. Without any other intentions than to know him and his journey.  It is a gift we are thankful for.  And even when I can't stop the hot tears, I am thankful for those too because I would cry until kingdom come if it means he is here with me.  

I think I am done now.  I think it's time to hang my head out the window, dry these b*%ches up and get ready to celebrate the season. Dont we Wests have a lot to celebrate! 

oh yes we do!  

Hugs,

J