Technical Difficulties

As evidenced by first glance at the blog when uploaded we are having a few technical difficulties at the moment.  My girl Jennisa will be on it in no time, she rocks blogs.

In the interim I apologize to all of my peeps that I have not gotten back to.  Two of three of the boys have ear infections and I am sick as well.  Luckily, Pax, thus far, is the least sick of us all.  Needless to say there is a lot of kleenex, antibiotics and lysol flying around here.   It's funny how I wake up feeling like some kind of crap, wondering how I will make it through the day, then I get this mad, crazy second wind where I run around accomplishing as much as I can knowing that the crash and burn is just around the corner.  Anyway, back on point, I apologize if I have not gotten back to anyone. My phone is near, but not a priority when I have two sick kids and one who is spoiled rotten (i.e. Pax) Yah boyfriend thinks the world revolves around him and it kinda does.  His way of letting me know what he wants next is to screech at the top of his lungs whilst pointing at whatever it is.  I can barely get my hair wrapped up before he's screeching at me for something. We are working on no with him, but god when that big bottom lip comes out I have a hell of a time not retracting.

Exhibit A:

Oh these boys rock my world. Whether it be Paxtons bottom lip or hugging my neck from behind while I am on the floor dressing his brother.  Maybe it's Mason asking me if I am his best friend to which I reply, "always baby".  Or Austin who screams to his brothers that I am "HIS Mommy!"   Three little boys who tear through this house like hell on wheels and yet I am so dang blessed to have each of them.

It's been a rough year. I have trudged waters I never imagined I would.  I still am.   I am not sure I could even put into words (and that's saying something for me) all that life has taught me this past year. There were days I wanted to give up, days I dropped to my knees begging, days I raised my arms in praise.  Days I felt joy I had never known and sorrow just the same. I have said hello and good bye.  I have begun and I have ended.  I have been whole and I have been broken.  I have laughed my belly laugh and sobbed sobs that were carnal.  I have felt more in a years time than I have ever felt in my entire life.  Most days I don't know what to make of it.  I question it, but in the end I trust in the journey. I trust in everything happens for a reason and nothing happens for nothing... So I continue on. Forge ahead. Do what I know to do and find joy in the most mundane places.  When they boys are riding  their "motorbikes" in the house (yes I let them, my walls are proof ; ) and they come at me full speed ahead and my jumping and squealing sends them into fits of laughter my heart swells and I feel it... that feeling we search our whole lives for.  True, raw love.  

I was reminded last week that it doesn't have to be huge to be awesome.  It can be simple blowing bubbles in the bath with the boys instead of Walt Disney or a 7-11 sandwich instead of a steak.  It is in the little things and the quiet moments that life lies.  We go to it when we need it and carry on from there.   

I had a wonderful weekend last weekend.  It was wild, crazy, soft and sweet all at the same time.  I will post pictures soon.  Tonight though, I am tired from being sick and caring for three amazing little boys in spite of that so I am going to go "night night".  I am going to crawl into bed, pull that pillow I love to cuddle into my body and head off to never never land.  I love it there. In my dreams....

Until next time. 

Goodnight moon,

J